“An enemy is a lively embodiment of our own weakness.”

Self-Victory based Conflict Resolution offers workshops and curricula for corporate and academic environments.  Conflict is an everyday reality in our lives – a lack of harmony that most people experience simply as “stress.”  While we are most conscious of it verbally in our interpersonal interactions, the seed of conflict resides first of all within our own mind as a subtle inner resistance, disagreement or reaction to what is.  Starting from within, these conflicts quickly sprout into verbal arguments, creating anxiety and stress, interrupting productivity, ruining relationships and creating an atmosphere of fear, discomfort and unhappiness.  At times, verbal conflicts can escalate and become physical, resulting in abuse and violence. 

Alternatively, conflict resolution is about changing our perspective so that conflict is seen as an opportunity for communication and growth.  It is the process of becoming aware of conflict at its source within, an awareness of one’s own self so that we can distinguish between fear based conflict behaviors (our reactive, fight or flight impulses) and our conscious desire for the actual resolution of conflict (our capacity to remain centered and respond creativelyin the face of adversity).  Once this is established, techniques for conflict resolution then involve the following:

• How to remain centered in the face of an attack.
• How to listen with our full presence of mind.
• How to become aware of our own ‘trigger points’ or ‘buttons.’
• How to communicate with calm confidence.
• Using “blending” words that help us see our partner’s perspective and orient towards resolution.
• How to avoid arguing and still have our needs met.
• How to use conflict with others as a mirror for our self so we can embody integrity and lead by example.
• Understand the hidden motivations of conflict behaviors in ourselves and others based on the yin yang symbol.
• Transcending control tactics – praise and blame.
• Understanding different types of conflict and the needs of different types of people.

Utilizing an Integral approach, Self-Victory based Conflict Resolution uses three fundamental dimensions of experience – Body, Mind and Spirit (“I”, “We” and “It” in reverse).  This creates theoretical and practical applications that help us more deeply understand and embody the difference between conflict and conflict resolution.  For this I draw upon the martial arts and body-mind practices to provide an integration between physical, verbal and internal awareness principles.